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ALONE AND OKAY

Greece, June 2019

I was left alone to rot, my beauty fading away day by day, leaving rust on my face.

And then I left and I stopped. I stopped doing anything but listening to my guts.

I take a sip of beer, in silence, smelling the scent of laundry hanging on the terrace.

Nights are warm. I feel sticky, It's hard to get some good sleep. Though, I feel ecstatic. No pressure, no obligations. I'm free. This feeling turns me on.

Here everything is different. I'm alone, but an unusual light illuminates my eyes.

I want to stay here. I will pretend to be a rock and spend my days catching rays on this beach. I want to stay here forever.

I take a break, I leave my body getting flooded by the sunlight. I close my eyes and my mind starts spinning around.

You would fill that empty hole beside me and it would feel just right.

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But right now, I'm still behind that door. I just have to face it and take that last step. The view is stunning out there.

Before all this I was a bunch of ruins, once magnificent and soon misunderstood.

I was feeling overwhelmed by you, by them, by the world. I tried so hard to call for help, to cry, but all efforts were useless, I was petrified.

I lie on the bed and I forget about the chaos of the city, as a cool summer breeze brushes my skin. Days drift away at a smooth pace.

I'm alone. Sometimes I feel that I don't fit in. I miss the pieces to build my world.

Without making any efforts, I blend in with the surroundings. The noise is a distant memory. I feel restored.

No, I won't. I won't run away again. I will try to climb this wall and see what's on the other side. I have to. The view seems stunning.

What if we were two? You would bring me the missing pieces to build stronger foundations.

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Everything would be perfect, orderly, as it was always meant to be.

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