ALONE AND OKAY
Greece, June 2019
I was left alone to rot, my beauty fading away day by day, leaving rust on my face.
And then I left and I stopped. I stopped doing anything but listening to my guts.
I take a sip of beer, in silence, smelling the scent of laundry hanging on the terrace.
Nights are warm. I feel sticky, It's hard to get some good sleep. Though, I feel ecstatic. No pressure, no obligations. I'm free. This feeling turns me on.
Here everything is different. I'm alone, but an unusual light illuminates my eyes.
I want to stay here. I will pretend to be a rock and spend my days catching rays on this beach. I want to stay here forever.
I take a break, I leave my body getting flooded by the sunlight. I close my eyes and my mind starts spinning around.
You would fill that empty hole beside me and it would feel just right.
But right now, I'm still behind that door. I just have to face it and take that last step. The view is stunning out there.
Before all this I was a bunch of ruins, once magnificent and soon misunderstood.
I was feeling overwhelmed by you, by them, by the world. I tried so hard to call for help, to cry, but all efforts were useless, I was petrified.
I lie on the bed and I forget about the chaos of the city, as a cool summer breeze brushes my skin. Days drift away at a smooth pace.
I'm alone. Sometimes I feel that I don't fit in. I miss the pieces to build my world.
Without making any efforts, I blend in with the surroundings. The noise is a distant memory. I feel restored.
No, I won't. I won't run away again. I will try to climb this wall and see what's on the other side. I have to. The view seems stunning.
What if we were two? You would bring me the missing pieces to build stronger foundations.
Everything would be perfect, orderly, as it was always meant to be.